Learn to differentiate communication from assertive communication , because communicating something is not the same as doing it in an assertive way. Below, we will help you differentiate them with 10 examples of assertive communication so you can understand what it is about.
The first thing you should know is that, among what we call social skills , we find assertive communication , very close to empathy, and it is precisely this topic that we will talk about in the article.
Before addressing assertive communication, we will first address the topic of communication in general, and then develop the topic of assertiveness and assertive communication .
When we talk about communication, we can say that there are two types: verbal and non-verbal. Regarding the first type, verbal, we can find the written word, but in the second type, non-verbal, we will find expressions, tone of voice, body language, etc. And a large part of communication, specialists clarify, comes from non-verbal communication.
In the communication process, two parts are usually referred to: the transmitter and the receiver . The sender is the one who speaks or writes, that is, the one who sends the message and the receiver will be the one who listens or who is reading.
Something important to take into account is that the role of the receiver is not as passive as it was believed, but why is this? It is because listening is also done from our practices, perspectives, emotional state, attitude and it also depends on the relationship we have with the subject or the person who is sending the message.
What is communication?
Communication is a process in which two parties are involved, a sender and a receiver, and it involves the transmission and exchange of messages between the two. This involves a series of factors that will determine success. We must take into account the code (language used), the communication channel (medium used), the context (scenarios), noise or disturbances, and feedback (response).
This process is fundamental for life in society, not only in human societies, but also in the organization of animals, because it allows us to express ourselves and share information. In addition, thanks to communication, we can establish relationships, which are very important for building life in society, where it is essential to reach agreements and be able to organize ourselves appropriately.
What is assertive communication?
Assertive communication is very unique and its main objective is to achieve effective communication between interlocutors. If this type of communication is put into practice, it promotes self-respect and respect for others. This suggests that these assertive communication techniques are tools that can be applied both in our work life and in our personal life.
In this way, it is important to know its characteristics and the resources we can use in our favor, to have beneficial results in our daily interactions.
We have already made it clear that communication is basically the process in which a message is transmitted between a sender and a receiver. However, when we talk about assertive communication , we must emphasize the attitude of that communication. That is, it emphasizes the way in which a person expresses his or her opinions from a position of respect for the other, in a clear and calm manner.
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Learn 10 examples of assertive communication
After previously explaining what communication and assertive communication are , it is time to present 10 examples that will help you identify it, especially in its relation to the working world.
Here you can learn 10 examples of situations, and the difference between non-assertive communication and assertive communication .
Example. 1
✅ Non-assertive communication: “You are an unprofessional person and you never do anything to improve.” This communication is not assertive because it judges the person and generalizes, and it is not done with respect.
✅ Assertive communication: “I have noticed that you have had a problem and this has caused delays. Have you noticed this too?” This communication is assertive because it is validated with a question and talks about the actions and the impact they have.
Example. 2
✅ Non-assertive communication: “You always have a bad attitude and you are supposed to care about what you do.” In this situation, the communication is not assertive because, as in the previous situation, it generalizes and judges.
✅ Assertive communication: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been very late over the last month and I’d like you to be punctual for the next few days.” Assertive communication is used because it is specific and makes a request in a polite manner.
Example. 3
✅ Non-assertive communication: “You always make me lose my patience.” It is not assertive because it blames the other person for the lack of patience.
✅ Assertive communication: “When he doesn’t pay attention to what I say, I get frustrated.” This other situation is assertive because he takes responsibility for his own emotions and speaks specifically about his actions and their impact.
Example. 4
✅ Non-assertive communication: “I don’t want to be with you because you always make me feel excluded from the group.” It’s the same situation as before, this is not assertive because it blames the other person and makes oneself a victim.
✅ Assertive communication: “When we are with your friends, I feel like you don’t pay attention to me, and I feel excluded from the group.” She is assertive because she takes responsibility for her emotions and her feeling of exclusion.
Example. 5
✅ Non-assertive communication: “I don’t think you care what I say and you always want your way.” This is not assertive communication because it judges and generalizes.
✅ Assertive communication: “I think you were upset when your partner proposed a different plan than yours, what do you think?” In this other example, he speaks in the first person, is specific, and asks for the other person’s opinion.
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Example. 6
✅ Non-assertive communication: “You never take me into account.” It is not assertive because the other person is blamed.
✅ Assertive communication: “Sometimes I feel like I’m not counted on to make certain plans. Can we do something about that?” This is where feelings of frustration are made clear.
Example. 7
✅ Non-assertive communication: “You always mess everything up.” He is very disrespectful to the other party and blames them directly.
✅ Assertive communication: “I noticed a mistake you made at work, do you want to review it?” It is assertive because it does not blame the other person and also offers help.
Example. 8
✅ Non-assertive communication: “You should pay more attention to what you do, because you always do everything wrong.” Here the sender blames and generalizes.
✅ Assertive communication: “If you need help or have any questions, you can tell me.” In this other situation, the sender, on the other hand, offers his help.
Example. 9
✅ Non-assertive communication: “You are too late, you are always late to everything.” Generalizations and blame.
✅ Assertive communication: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been arriving a little later these past few days. Have you had any problems?” This is where the topic is discussed with more respect and empathy.
Example. 10
✅ Non-assertive communication: “You don’t want to do anything with your life and you can’t go on like this.” Here, the blame is placed directly on the recipient.
✅ Assertive communication: “Do you think that the workload assigned to you is too much, because we have noticed that you have not been able to meet the deliveries.” In this case, the sender asks respectfully before judging the receiver.
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